Truth Revealed

Hey ya'll ,
Looks like I am blogging again before Christmas!
I was going through majority of my old blog posts, and it looked like I constantly changed my mind about things and went back and forth. Such confusion and uncertainty! So here is what I'm going to say about that....

If any of you have questions about ANYTHING (even stuff that's not related to any of my blog posts) or something that is unclear, etc. I will be happy to clear your pondering mind. You guys can shoot me whatever questions you have at my email (xpalmtree@ymail.com) and I'll post the answers/w the the questions on my next blog post. You all have till December 31st to send in your questions. I'll have my answers ready for you. I'll post them on January 1st, but the blog post will be published January 2nd..that's when you all can read them here.

NOTE:
When sending the email please have subject as "Question for BroEliMor"
When you leave your question please leave "anonymous" or your preferred name.
If you have MORE than one question, that's fine, I'll answer whatever you got!

That is all!

Creatively Speaking,

My Hair Will Inspire You

I think today's (or tonight's) blog is really going to inspire some of you!
There's been something I've been thinking about doing, but I never did it because I was all "what are the odds?" Well, I changed my thought process and I'm GOING to give it a shot! What it all is....is modeling/advertising for Herbal Essences. Why Herbal Essences? I chose H.E.,  because I can tell you that I've never been so satisfied with any other product IN MY LIFE. Number one, the way it SMELLS: I can't stop smelling my hair, no matter which scent of theirs I use. Even after swimming, walking outside for a while, etc. my hair STILL smells so delicious! Number two, the way it makes my hair feel....which is healthy, lushes, it doesn't dry anything out, nor make it oily. Number three, it's long lasting: the feel, smell, and look. There was a time where I couldn't shower for two in a half days, and around that time I went swimming twice. I was also in (not to be mean) an environment that reeked. When I came home, I brought home the smell. My hair, however, smelled like H.E.

Moving on....

My friend, Theresa, really gave me that nudge to go for this. She said that I should consider being a model. I've got the looks for it, she said, including my hair. That is one thing she brought up in particular. So after talking to her, I was more optimistic about doing so. Though, I'm not going for a "full body" model, I'll go for hair. I mean really, have to agree with her here. My hair is amazing! No, I'm not trying to brag. Everybody has things that they love about themselves. This happens to be one of the things I truly do love about me.

Alright now....
The inspiring part of this blog:

Why did I not pull through the first time? I didn't because I thought the odds of them saying yes to me were so slim.
Why did I pull through the second time then? I pulled through, because I came to realize that it is below my character and what I stand for if I acted upon that thought. I SERIOUSLY thought about doing this, for real, for legit reasons, LEGITIMATELY. You never know until you take chances guys. If I don't send them my letter, then I'll never know for sure. If I do send it, I know I at least tried. I didn't even write it yet! If I get "the nod" (acceptance) from them, I think this blog post will become a little more inspiring. Plus, I'll be sure to write an inspiring blog about that moment too.  The motive: Go for what you wanna do in life, BELIEVE in yourself (You especially gotta believe in yourself when it comes to something like this,) and try your best! You gotta have CONFIDENCE to achieve things that revolve around you. You have to have it, period.
I think you all get the big picture here.

If I don't post another blog before Christmas (or even the New Year,) I wish you all a very enjoyable, loving Holiday!

( BTW, MY HAIR IS ALL NAT.UR.AL. I don't crump, curl, 
or use any gel or mouse with it.)
Creatively Speaking,

Butting In

There is so much that's going to be butting in, into the new year of 2013. I'm not even sure where to start. I'll probably just babble off like I have in my last couple of blogs. Is that okay with you guys? Well it has to be, I don't know any other way to say it!

First of all, sorry for blogging again so late! I got distracted and side tracked. I'll be more consistent now, though.

My main goal is to get into college sometime in 2013....I'm aiming for August. The new year is coming up. My mom wont let me leave for college until I get a job. So, I'm really pushing myself (double time) to get a job.

Of course it would help for BOTH college and a job to have a car, or even to finally get my license for that matter! So you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to be practicing driving religiously.  The hard part is getting me to go on the interstate and highway....THAT will be the most difficult. Another thing is I have to renew my temps: they are expired. Yeah, you can obviously see I'm a little behind here. That's okay, no biggie!

Secondly, my health has kind of slipped. It hasn't severely slipped, but it has gone to the point of where I should be a little concerned. Majority of it is TMI, so I wont elaborate on that. I can say this, though, my diet is going to change (NO I DIDN'T GAIN WEIGHT.) I only need to eat a lot healthier than I've been eating. My diet has been consisting of pasta, starch, and chocolate. I'm not even kidding. That's what it has narrowed down to. Also, soda needs to be cutback. 97% of of what I drink is soda. It's diet, but still. MORE WATER: because I often get dehydrated. Plus I really need it to help with my complexion. I was using this soap that's "supposedly" recommended by the dermatologist, and honestly it barely helped! My face wasn't clearing. Recently, I had no choice but to stop using it because it burned my skin and dried it out so bad that my face stung, while crusting. ....................Yeah it was that bad. So now, I'm using dove bar soap. So far-so good. I love the way it feels. I love the fact that my skin looks super shiny, after using it.

I don't know how to continue this blog post you guys! There is so much that is going to change and all that change is going to slide right into the new year. I mean, MY ATTITUDE/THOUGHT PROCESS has even changed! All I can say is NOW....I'm a completely enhanced person (a better me.)

Usually when I blog about personal things (revolving around me) I make sure that it's beneficial and insightful for you guys too. You know what I mean? This blog is overly personal, so I'm not going to continue with anything, because this time it is pretty much merely about me, and I don't think you guys can get anything out of this for yourself. I want you all to know that when I do a blog post, it is so that YOU can get insight and inspiration from it. I NEVER blog where I'm just sitting here talking all about me, me, me and you get nothing out of it.
This post here though is simply to have you all understand what has happened and why I've been absent....also to let you know that I'm back. Basically, a notification. I DO have a lot of inspiring posts coming up for you all. So keep your eyes peeled!


Creatively Speaking,

Bombs Away

You know I haven't been sure what to blog lately. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to even blog this, but you know what, IDGAF. This is what my blog is for: to express myself! I shouldn't have to worry about what other people are gonna say. I shouldn't care, because THIS IS MY BLOG.

So I'm just gonna drop this bomb. It is not directed towards everyone, but toward certain people, and is important for everyone to know. For those of you who are not being directed, don't say I didn't warn you!

As I have said in my previous blogs, I am 21 years old. Twenty-One years old. I am not a little girl any more. I have reached the time in my life where I need (and will) make my own decisions, learn from my own mistakes, wear what I feel comfortable in, and will do what I feel is best for me.
Some of you have been:
A)Telling me what to do
B)Telling me how to do
C)Telling me what to wear
D)What or how to say
E)Acting like you know me better than I know myself
F)Comparing me to other people

This is where I draw the line:

STOP!
Just stop.
No More.
No Mas.

I couldn't be more serious when I say this. You do not do A-F. ESPECIALLY not F. You don't EVER compare me to another person.   If I want your guidance or advice I will ask for it. If ANY of you continue to do this, you will be gone. REGARDLESS of who you are.Why will you be gone? Because it's pushing me away. Smothering me. Stressing me out to the point of where a bridge will turn to ash. That is how bad it is stressing me out. That is how bad it is pushing me away. This is something that can not be fixed easily, or maybe even fixed for that matter. Forgiveness? Sure. Truce? Don't hold your breath on it; It's not a sure thing. Some of you think that I'm just overreacting. Well news flash, I'm NOT.  This is how I truly feel.

I will decide what's best for me. I know what's best for me, because my heart will tell me. My heart knows.
Listen, I don't give a fucking two shits if you've been around the block. That doesn't mean you know what's best for me. You're not in my shoes! Some of you think that I have it easy right now.... NEWS FLASH. I don't! What, I watch tv alot? Yeah. I don't have to wake up early? Yeah. I have a lot of  free time? Yeah. None of this means that I have it easy, right now. There is more that's going on with me besides this.

Now there's some things I would like to discush' with some of you.
1) Job & College: Right now, all I honestly care about is getting into college...getting accepted into the college I choose, starting my life with college. (By the way, I had second thoughts about Tribeca. NOT because of what anyone said, just for my well being, financially-wise. So I found another school that's closer to me and cheaper.) Once I get college all settled and know that I am enrolled and all set to go, THEN I will put my mind on a job. Listen, I have been TRYING to get a job for a long time. I TRIED. Am I giving up? No! I'm taking a brake. It's not my fault that I cant hardly get in anywhere. I put in tons and ton of applications to different places, some places more than once. I don't wanna hear anyone telling me that I was not doing a whole lot. I did what I could! I don't want anyone telling me that I must not of really wanted a job, because that is a crock of shit. It would be wonderful to have a job, but I can only do so much. I'm not gonna put all my time and effort into job hunting when I've been working at it for about 2.5 years and hardly anything. What you all need to know is that I was trying my hardest and that is what counts. There are other stuff that are also extremely important to me that deserve to have my time, effort, and attention as well. College is number one. It's been two years since I've been out of school. It's time that I start placing myself in a college and get the proper training and education that I want for my career. It takes time to find the right college for you. Not to mention, taking time to fill out the applications and essays to get you accepted.

2) I don't care what you guys say about the film business. I don't care about what you say about my chances. That talk is junk. That talk is doubt. That talk is fear. That talk is narrow minded. I'm not scared of doing what it takes to pursue my dream career. Chances? This IS the chance to make it happen. It all depends on you: how much you put into it, how much you believe in it, how much you believe in yourself. "When you want something more than anything, you've got to give it your all." (Quoted myself.) So stop wasting your breath by giving me this pep talk about film business. You're wasting your time, because I'm not listening. This is where I'm going, what I'm doing. It's what I choose to pursue. And I WILL pursue.

3) Some of you guys really need to stop comparing me. In case I didn't make myself clear enough: I'm 21 years old and being the best lady I can possibly be. I've got my own life, my own issues, and my own plans. I will do what I can in MY time, in my measurements. So don't compare me to this person about how much more applications they put in, don't compare me of how I should dress more like this person, don't compare me of how much the other person has done, and so on. If you're one of the people that compare me to other people, then you'll probably be one of the first to go. I'm not here to compete against other people. I'm here to fulfill my life and to be myself.

4) A lot of you really need to stop complaining about when I cuss. For pete sake, I don't cuss often and when I do, most of you act like I've been cussing for the last five hours. I know you all cuss! I know you all do. Give it a rest, and if you don't like it so much then why are YOU cussing? Seriously though, it's here and there that I do cuss.

5)There's more that I could address right now, but I think I've made most of it clear.

I love you all, but if you want to keep the love then I suggest you stop doing A-F.  This IS theeee final call. I'm not repeating any of this, unless you didn't read this blog post.

Creatively Speaking,

When It Comes Down To You

I was debating whether to blog this or not. I'm not even sure how to start this subject, so I'll just go with what my heart debates to say. Isn't that the natural way to do it?

[Sorry to tell you that there wont be any pictures with the blog today. I know you all enjoy my blogs more when I blog with pictures c; ]

There's going to be a point in your life where your family and friends are not going to be happy with the decisions you make (I'm talking about your dream[s]). But you know what? This isn't "about them". This is about YOU and what you believe in. You need to keep going no matter how much they are against this. No matter if they are your parents, your friends, your pastor, your siblings, your mentor, whoever the hell it is that has a problem with it or objects to what you're pursuing. Take a look at your idols..they didn't get their success by doing what others wanted them to do. They got their success (they're dream come true) by doing what THEY believed in: what they believed would work. Most importantly, I bet you, they believed in themselves.

Look, I have something to tell you!

The reason why I am blogging this today is because my mom does not want me to go to Tribeca AT ALL. She doesn't want me to go there for several reasons. The money, the location, and the ....competition I guess you could say. The competition: she says "it's a long shot". When my mom was talking to me about going to Tribeca Flashpoint Academy, I took it really, really hard. I was crying. It sounded like she did not believe in this at all. It even sounded like she didn't even believe that I can make it. Do you have any idea how that feels? Maybe you do know. Maybe some of you have parents that don't believe in you or your dreams that much. It hurts a lot. To me, it's like injecting venom and then they just watch you suffer. I told her "Thanks for believing in me, mom", real sarcastically.

This is when I decided that this whole thing is a test that God is putting me through, right now. I KNOW it is, because before I would always have people make decisions for me, or go by what other people say. Not to long ago, I realized that I am at the point in my life where I NEED to make decisions for myself...and I HAVE been. So the other day was the last warning or reminder to make important decisions for myself. This is the time where I realized that not everyone in my circle are going to be okay with the decisions I make, I may lose some people, but I need to stick to my guns.......otherwise this is never gonna happen. I'll never pursue my dream if I back out because other people are angry. This is not about them. This is about me. If I have to lose them because of their lack of belief and their frustration then so be it. That means they were really never here anyway. They only lasted when my results made them happy. You know what I mean?

I'm sorry to say people, but this is how the world is apparently. When it comes down to you, remember these:

-YOU be the person to make the final important decision (after all ,YOU'RE the one that deals with the results.)
-Believe in YOU and what YOU want to pursue.
-You can't back out because some of the people you care about are mad with YOUR decisions (remember, your dream wont come true if you do this. Always remember ALL the things I said in my earlier blogs about never giving up and believing in yourself and dreams.)
-This is YOUR path, YOUR dream, YOUR life, YOUR outcome. That's why I'm stressing the "don't back out" rule, because YOU'RE gonna be the one who is living with the results NOT them. Please, please, please see where I am going with this. Please, see what I mean.
-When/if you lose some people that's okay. This is just a discovery to find out who is really here FOR YOU and who believes in YOU.  It may hurt at first, but trust me...it'll be for the best. You'll figure that out. Even if it's family, it's for the best. Family does not always mean blood. Family means a group of people who are there for each other (thick or thin) to the end of time. Family will always believe in you and support you.

If there is anyone out there who is looking up to me. If I am your idol, if I inspire you, if I am any type of light to you at all, I tell you this: I WILL NOT back out,okay! I am sticking to my guns, pursuing my dreams, never giving up, never stop believing in myself, will walk right on by those people who doubt me or the things I do. I won't look back or wait up for them. I will do whatever it takes! I don't just blog for the hell of it! Whoever reads this blog (near or far, american or non, friend or foe, young or old) I blog because I want you to know that there is somebody (me) out there who wants you to pursue your dreams/goals. Yeah, even if I don't know who you are, okay! This is what I stand for: believing in people...believing that people can. I stand for those people who need someone to believe in them. There are more people who give up too easily than give it their all. That's the problem these days! So when you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself YOU CAN, remember me-the person who believes in you! Don't be afraid to connect with me on twitter or facebook, or wherever you find me, even if we're strangers. This is what I'm here for.

Remember what I blogged today, because it's important, it's the truth, and it's proof that I want you to succeed.

Creatively Speaking,

Gotta Good Feeling

Well it has been a lovely morning, except I'm going through the bipolar stages of Wisconsin again. I don't know what to wear any more, for the time being. It's an hour to lunch, I'm still in my P.J.'s, it's in the middle of August, and I'm debating if I should wear jeans with t-shirt, or jeans with a hoodie, because YES it is that considerably chilly out. Yesterday, I wore jeans with a t-shirt, because it was a bit chilly out then too. Around four yesterday, I started to get really hot. So you can see why I have no clue what to wear any more. Wisconsin is the most bipolar place I know of...so far. You want my advice? Don't move here, don't even visit here. It's not worth the trip, unless you're coming here for Wisconsin Dells or Frosty Freeze. ....Or maybe even to watch the Packers. But that's it! Otherwise, Wisconsin is lame.

I wont bore you with The Land of The Cheese Heads, any more.


What I'm really blogging about is something you may not all agree with or believe in. I believe that God puts certain people in our paths for reasons. "Some people are in your life for a reason, others for a season."-Billy Ray Cyrus. Yesterday was proof for me. I met someone that is going to help me out with something that I have been looking for. I also have been thinking about it for a long time. What happened was, I went to my cousins graduation party, and there I was eating across from this lady. She asked my name. From there on, we started talking. I got this 'feeling' to ask her about having kids, and what it's like being a parent. I eventually inched my way on telling her about being a foster parent and maybe an adoptive parent.

What's remarkable is she has swung on the ropes of being a foster parent. We got so into this subject that I told her about my plans and thoughts for the future and how being a foster/adoptive parent is part of my future. Where am I going with this? Be patient, I'm getting to it! (I like to blog with detail.) There's this gig called "Respite Foster Care". That would seem to be the best match for me. Respite foster care is when the foster parents need a brake from fostering the kid. You would be basically watching the kid until the foster parents  are done from their "vacation" or brake. The lady I was talking to said that I'd be perfect right now for the gig because:

1. I'm old enough
2. I'm not working (the fostering facilities actually prefer if you DIDN'T work so you can spend time with the kid, because that's what they need: quality time, some one to be there for them, taking care of them...ya know.)
3. They pay you A LOT for this! They don't care what you do with the money as long as you're not spending it on harmful things such as drugs or smokes...stuff like that. You can buy clothes for yourself or the kid, take you and the kid out to eat, put it in your savings, whatever! Now, of course I would never become a foster parent just for the money. In fact, I didn't even know you get paid to be a foster or adoptive parent. I have been thinking about being a foster parent because I want to make a difference in a younger persons life. Plus, get experience with kids.

**This is a win-win situation for me AND the kid because:
A. I am looking for a job with kids to gain experience
B. The kid needs a home
C. With the respite gig, it's short term (which is the degree I can handle, but you keep getting new kids. Ya know what I mean?)
D. I get paid for this. So this is kind of a job with kids AND I get a head start.
**Not to mention that the lady said I could also start out on baby sitting her grand daughter, which she has been looking for help, actually!

It's amazing how things work out! I'm really hoping this goes through. I mean, why wouldn't it? What are the odds that we just started talking about it at my cousins grad party, AND she's been through it all?!? Seriously, come on! We exchanged numbers, for Pete sake! I gotta good feeling that something is going to happen!

You see, for a while...I was feeling depressed, (I KNOW, I KNOW! ME OUT OF ALL PEOPLE? BROOKE THE POSITIVE? BROOKE THE GO GET'ER? BROOKE THE BELIEVER? BROOKE? NOT BROOKE? BROOKE WOULD NOT BECOME DEPRESSED!) but I was depressed. I was depressed, because I felt like nothing was going for me. I was bored, I was lonely, I couldn't get a job, I had no money, I did the same thing just about every day. I said "I can't be in the state of denial." So, I went and talked to my neighbor Joyce telling her how I was feeling and what has been going on with me. She said that she knew. She could see I was depressed. Joyce talked me through and helped me out. We then prayed out loud together that something would come along my way. This you guys...this (the lady-I don't want to say names, respect privacy-that is helping me out with respite foster care and baby sitting) is the answer, I believe. This is it! There is no way that what happened at my cousins graduation party was just a coincidence ......Because you know what? The lady said that she does not believe in coincidence ...AND NEITHER DO I! We met each other yesterday FOR A REASON, and GOD put us in each others paths! I KNOW he did! I gotta good feeling that things are going to start working out and come around. I really do.

You do not have to believe in that, but this is MY blog where I'll express my believes and feelings. You may not support this idea at all, and may not approve either, but if that's the case DO NOT bother commenting or contacting me about this blog post. I am 21 years old now. I make my own decisions. Do I make myself clear? I don't want to hear any complaints, remarks, or messages/comments talking me down or trying to change my mind about this. If I see any, they will be removed and I will not reply. In fact, it will put you on my bad side for a while. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Creatively Speaking,

I'm "Addressing' It

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Physically I'm pooped. Mentally, I'm hyper. This blog post has more energy than I do right now!
Let me start out by saying this blog post will be addressing me moving out of state and my writing. So, pretty much things in the not so far future.

So, I just recently got back from Arizona. Boy, let me tell you! Going back there for the fourth or fifth time (I don't really know the actual number of times I've been for vacation) was a blow! It definitely gave me a second thought about moving there. I still think it looks pretty with the palm trees and mountains, and how the brown makes the plantation pops out with colors, BUT hearing things about Arizona from my relatives...I'm definitely looking into another area to move into.

(My very first sand storm/haboob.)

What I heard:
1. Bad things happen there (high crime)
Car jackers, robbery, killing
2. People get fed up with the heat.
3.It's very expensive to live out there, because they are in a dessert. That makes all the difference.
4. Because of the heat, they have to keep their windows closed most of the time until they hit winter. Now knowing me, I HAVE TO HAVE sunlight in my house. I just can't have the shades closed. It depresses me.

Guess what...

I'M NOT GOING TO MOVE THERE ANY MORE.

"Where's my next choice", you ask!

Hollywood!
Be quiet! I know it's a bit pricey to live there. So zip it! In fact, here is something you oughta know about me: I'm a girl with big dreams, high expectations (only for myself though,) and an expensive taste. 
Alright?!? *Pats your head*

Good! Moving on....

So WHY Hollywood?
1.I MUST move to a place with palm trees.
2.I MUST move to a place with a great view. (I've always loved the sight of the Hollywood on that mountainous hill.)
3. I MUST move to place with many things do. 
4.In case if you forgotten, I'm going to college for film business. I love the films. Hollywood is the heart of entertainment for films, tv, and music. How could I NOT consider moving to Hollywood. 
5. I'd fit in. 

THAT'S why!

So now that we know, Id like to address writing.

I think instead of just mainly writing epic fantasies, I'll be starting to write dramatic chick-lit's (woman literate.) I Will-Not be combining the two together.

This has to do with my mindset. My fantasy stories can be extremely dark and can end up being depressing at times. NOT THE WHOLE THING, just at certain parts. I need real life spunk in my creative juice. The glitz, glamour, and gossip is what I'm talking about. I believe this will make me feel better, because even writing and thinking, and plotting my fantasy stories it's ALWAYS so rough, so un-peaceful, because of the violence, and malice, and twisted characters. Basically what I'm telling you all is I'll be adding a new genera to the menu. ^-^

Creatively Speaking,

Fostering

I think I'm gradually figuring it out. I used to think I had it ALL figured out, for myself I mean. When some people told me I would change my mind about my future, I never believed them. Things have been changing, but they're changing in a good way and for the best.

Remember when I said that I wanted to inspire and motivate the younger generation? Well I thought of a few ways I could be doing that....different ways to accommodate.

1-Most of you already know that I'll be writing my fiction novels. With my fiction novels, I always convey a very important message and usually have the characters always stand up for what they believe in, and try to be the best person they can be.

2- Film business will be becoming part of my life at some time. From the international movement of mine, called "Wagon Of Hope", which is based off of my inspirational true book "That Happy Someone",  I will be making a film of these two taking teens who have joined this movement and changed their life through this. Majority of the people watch movies, more than they  read. I'm hoping that these teens will tell other teens that it does get better by showing it through the film.

3- I have been thinking about kids for a while now. Don't freak out! I'm not planning on having any for a while. But I'm not sure if I want to be a "full time" parent. So being a foster parent is something I'll definitely consider. While the kids home is being taken care of for whatever mater, I can be a role model to the kid, and hopefully, for the time being while he or she is there, inspire and make a positive influence on them. Plus, I think it would be great for me to be a foster parent because it's just what I'm looking for: I don't have to do the whole raising a kid FOR LIFE thing . I just want to influence younger people.

(Marisol & I)

 "Say Brooke, why don't you be a teacher?"

"No, because I can't stand school, paper work, homework, and I don't like teaching! Just want to inspire and motivate! There is a difference".

I think being a foster parent will be a really rewarding thing for me, despite the negatives of being a foster parent (having property damage, theft in your home, disapproval of friends and family, frustrating when you realize lack of immediate influence, feelings of inferiority when your child does not mature, dealing with anger released at you, Wanton disregard towards you.) But being an adult and an understanding person, it does not effect me....because they're kids who are going through a rough time. It's not easy being away from home at a young age. 

(Me & Sky)

To get an early start on how to handle kids, I will be applying for a baby sitting or nanny job on care.com, when I come back from my vacation. When college starts up, I will cancel my services, because I will be way out of town and focusing on school.

(Me & Aaliyah)

After college, I plan on moving out of state and think about helping out friends, neighbors, and family with their little ones, until I am ready to become a foster parent. Honestly, I believe I can pull through this and achieve it! 

.

Creatively Speaking,

I Need A Prayer & Advice

I'm really confused, scared, and somewhat lost.
If you all could pray for me to help me find the right light to the path: the path that I want and need, that would be great. I would really appreciate it. You see, I'm unsure of what to do. I really want to go to Tribeca Academy for film directing because I love movies so much, but it is really far away from home and I don't know it's going to pull through for me financially in the end. Yet I also really still want to work for Disney. Man oh man I still really wanna have Disney as a life career too. You could be a director in Disney. Bottom line is....am I doing the right thing by going to Tribeca? I was watching their tutorial videos and you go through these internships and one of them was Disney, which I already told most of you that's my first step of working for Disney in the first place. Then again, I could apply for the internship at Whitewater too. I feel like I would have a lot better chance at getting in through Tribeca rather than Whitewater, because it's part of Tribeca's training process. Part of me feels like I just want to stay with Tribeca because of that and the superb training and education you get there. Me and my mom took the tour and there is really nothing like it! It was a wonderful experience. I don't know what to do guys. I am really lost and I don't know what is the right thing for me. I need a prayer that God helps me find the right decision, the right path for me. What ever is meant to be will fall into place at the right time. So if you pray, please pray for me. If you don't pray, give me your advice then. If you do both, GREAT!
Thanks I appreciate it.

P.S. Deep, deep down inside I really do have that instinct feeling that I am going to end up in Disney. Like you just know it's going to happen. :}


Creatively Speaking,

I'll Answer 100% Honest

Reblogging from http://kaiichou.tumblr.com/

• Have you ever:
• 1) Self harmed? 
• No
• 2) Got into a real fight? 
• No
• 3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?
•  No
• 4) Tried to commit suicide? 
• No
• 5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
•  Not everyone.
• 6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting? 
• Yes I have actually. For two different shows.
• 7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble? 
• Yes
• 8) Accused someone of using you?
•  Yes
• 9) Shoplifted?
•  No
• 10) Gotten drunk/high?
•  No
• 11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing? 
• Unfortunately, no.
• 12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game? 
• I'm sure I have at least once.
• (Right now) Are you:
• 13) Suicidal? 
• Hell no!
• 14) Bored?
•  No, just hot.
• 15) Avoiding someone? 
• Yes.
• 16) Avoiding some task? 
• I wont play denial, yes.
• 17) Depressed? 
• Not at all.
• 18) Crying? 
• Nope.
• 19) Annoyed with a friend? 
• No.
• 20) Worried and confused about something important to you?
•  Yes.
• Do you:
• 21) Get depressed easily? 
• No, I have too many things to look forward too and so many blessings.
• 22) Get jealous/envious easily? 
• No, I'm not the jealous type.
• 23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?
• Most def! 
• 24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?
• Only with a couple people, otherwise no.
• 25) Try hard in all your classes at school?
• I think I could of tried harder, but....I did my best for most of the time. I mostly got B's.
• 26) Go out drinking?
• No, I don't go out looking for a place to get a drink or two.
• 27) Smoke cigarettes?
• Nope, and never will.
• 28) Smoke weed?
• No!
• 29) Do any hard drugs?
• Hell-nuh.
• 30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?
• N/A
• 31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?
• Yes I believe in God, but no I am not religious. I'm spiritual. 
• 32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?
• No, they are the ones that are here for me and I'm here for them.
• 33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?
• Most def. not!
• 34) Believe people deserve second chances?
• You bet.
• 35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)
• Not always, but in some scenarios I do.
• 36) Think things will get better?
• Not by themselves. c:
• 37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?
• Yeeah D;
• 38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)
• If I understand this question correctly, no.
• Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
• 39) Long hair OR short hair? 
• Short. Longest I'll go is medium.
• 40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?
• Hmm......well if his teeth aren't in good shape at least, then forget it!
• 41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?
• N/A
• 42) Shy OR open?
• Open.
• 43) Eyes OR body?
• ......Body

• 44) Religious OR non-religious?
• Doesn't matter, but if you're satanic don't bother!
• 45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?
• Well he def. has to care about me.
• 46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
• What does this even mean...?
• 47) Piercings OR no piercings?
• I'd prefer if he didn't have any.
• 48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?
• Tattoos are fine, just don't be plastered with them.
• 49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
• I really don't know about this one.
• 50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?
• Parents.
• Would you:
• 51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?
• No, I don't wanna waste my time by getting wasted.
• 52) Smoke weed?
• No, never, ever.
• 53) Smoke cigarettes?
• No, too scared to try.
• 54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?
• No, because karma is my best friend. c: I always know when she's got my back.
• 55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?
• Forgive-yes. Does that make us truce, no. It depends what they did though.
• 56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?
• No, I could never do that. It would be against what I stand for.
• 57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?
• Yes I would.
• 58) Join a band as a part time activity?
• No, so not my thing.
• 59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?
• I would, and I would try to help them, but only if they're willing to help their self.
• 60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?
• Yes you bet I would!
• 61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?
• Yeah, I'm actually starting go that way anyways. 
• 62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?
• I'd be verbally fighting. 
• 63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?
• Some photos.
• 64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?
• Um........most likely not. Again, it depends what they do.
• 65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?
• Yeah, that shit happens all the time.
• 66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?
• Really, I don't think so. I'd have to find out for myself.
• 67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems?
• Yeah, on certain things.
• 68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?
• No! I'd watch what I'd eat and exercise.
• 69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?
• Yeah......
• 70) Sleep naked?
• No. I'm too scared about the chance that someone will brake in, come in my bedroom, muff me, make me go somewhere, and let alone I would not wanna be naked in this situation. He probably wouldn't even give me time to change!
• You can only choose one:
• 71) Black or Orange?
• Black
• 72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?
• I'm not familiar with these terms.
• 73) Cellphone or Computer?
• Computer.
• 74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?
• Chocolate milk! :D
• 75) Tumblr OR Friends?
• Question mark (x2) ......Friends.
• 76) Mac OR PC?
• Even though I never had one, I'm going to say Mac, because out of all the brands I've had I always run into a real, real problem, and most people I talk to tell me to get a Mac: you'll have no problems and no virus can get into them. They're built so NO virus can get into them.
• 77) TV Shows OR Movies?
• Movies.
• 78) Old bands OR new Bands?
• New.
• 79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?
• Pop punk.
• 80) Reading OR Listening to music?
• Hmm.....I used to be a huge reader. I got really busy with homework and stopped reading all of a sudden. I'm going to say music though, because music heals me, gives me ideas, and is usually needed at parties, which I love to throw quite a bit.
• 81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.
• Which ever product carries Sierra Mist. c:
• 82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?
• Staying who I am. The only thing I would change about me is my style.
• 83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?
• ......Clean vocal? I'm not familiar with these terms again.
• 84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.
• I honestly never heard of any of them. ....I think. 
• 85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.
• Sorry, who?
• 86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?
• A documentary, because my life is no joke. A documentary does not have to  be boring. All that matters is how it's put together, and what you choose to put in their. 
• 87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?
• Europe. I never believed we went to the moon, for real, anyways.  
• 88) Shoes OR Shirts?
• Shirts! You should see me when I go to the mall. You'd think I don't have any shirts at home. 
• 89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?
• I don't know yooou.
• 90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice. The second one, because if you do both of those things you can get the career you always wanted which I think is the choice that will make you happier. 
• Almost over:
• 91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.
• Yes, my oh my I've been honest!
• 92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?
• It's not like I go into detail about my social life or tell them all bout my friends. At least they know I DO have SOME.
• 93) Do you want to travel when you are older?
• Oh my Godzilla, yes!
• 94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?
• If they did not believe in me, or support me then I'd probably have to.
• 95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?
• No, not until now. c:
• 96) Rather be the opposite gender?
• Oh no! I love being a girl!
• 97) What will you name your son/daughter?
• Son- Isaac. Daughter-Lillian
• 98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?
• No. I really can't even answer this because we all don't know what people get from other people.
• 99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.
• I can't think of a specific band, but I can't stand country. It's depressing and totally not my type of rhythm&beat. 
• 100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?
• This is something I will never tell!

My Last Words

If I could tell somebody something valuable before I left this world, it would be these three things:

1-Always stand up for yourself. Don't ever be afraid too. Stand up, but do it in a mature way. When I never used to, it was one of the biggest mistakes I made in my entire life. It will damage you for a long time mentally and emotionally. Stand up for yourself, your believes, for what you think is right. It is so important. It may seem hard at first, or at times, but it must be done, and once you keep doing it you will grow stronger and it will become easier.

2-Always be yourself and who you want to be. Never let anyone define you.  Second mistake I made in my whole life was that I tried to do what other people wanted to do, liked what they liked, and so on. It doesn't work like that. You need to be yourself. It's essential to happiness. Personality is like this: If you try to blend it with the crowd or be somebody else you will become lost with yourself and not become noticed or appreciated. Everyone has their own light.  Don't follow the light because what happens is you become a shadow from that persons light. Secondly, people wont appreciate you anyways because it's not your light, it's the other persons. You need to shine your own light so people can see what shines within you.  You can look up to another light, but do not follow. I realized that once I started being myself, so many more people were drawn to me-my light. It is one of the best feelings you can ever imagine.

3-Never give up on your dreams and don't ever let anyone get in your way of pursuing them. Life will get hard at times, but if you keep pushing through and fighting for yourself you can have the future that you want and the things that you want in life. In this situation, the most important thing for you is to believe in yourself and stay strong.  Just do not EVER give up. Never, ever, ever.

 

Creatively Speaking,